


Got Your Body On My Mind

by taormina



Category: Take That (Band)
Genre: 90s, Hotel Sex, Loss of Virginity, M/M, Mildly Dubious Consent, Porn with some plot, Sexuality Crisis, Shower Sex, Smut, So much kissing, Some Fluff, do what u like video shoot, gary is inexperienced and adorable, handjobs, mark tops, very porny
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-21
Updated: 2015-07-21
Packaged: 2018-04-10 11:38:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,804
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4390418
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/taormina/pseuds/taormina
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gary never thought that he would end up taking a shower with (and, later, losing his virginity to) one of his colleagues of the day of his first video shoot.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Got Your Body On My Mind

Mark had already been in the shower for ten minutes. _Ten. Minutes._ _What on Earth was he doing in there?_

On normal days, trivial things like that didn’t really bother Gary. He’d known Mark for almost two years now, and his being _unbelievably_ slow – and late; always late – was kind of a given. But today wasn’t a normal day. Right now Gary was covered in jelly and whipped cream and God knows what else, and he _really_ wanted a shower. He was going to smell of whipped cream for the rest of his life if he didn’t get clean soon!

‘Hurry up, will you, mate?’ Gary said to a frosted glass door. They were in a small “public” restroom in what had to be the shittiest and dirtiest film studio ever. One of their colleagues had clearly just taken a big shit and used an abundance of air freshener to cover it up. The strong smell of lavender was giving Gary a headache.

If he squinted Gary could sort of see the outline of Mark’s small body through the translucent shower door. (Not that he was looking hard, of course . . .) Mark didn’t seem to be doing anything that excused spending ten minutes in the shower when everyone else had managed to scrub off the jelly in five.

Today had been a bit of a let-down for Gary, to be honest. When he was younger, he dreamed of his musical “firsts” all the time. His first single. His first live performance. His first video.  

His first live performance was ticked off his bucket list when he started touring the northern club circuit years ago. He’d done so many performances at this point that they didn’t even scare him anymore. It was just another day at the office for him, really. Naturally, that sacred first single had already been ticked off, too; it wasn’t brilliant, but hey, at least it was got people talking! (Two people, to be exact. Whom they’d bribed with money and empty promises.) But filming his – _their_ – first video? Awful. Just awful.

Gary had always imagined his first music video to be just him sitting at a piano. Preferably in black-and-white. All the best songs had black-and-white music videos, didn’t they? _Do What U Like_ , unfortunately,was something else. It wasn’t in black-and-white, and it definitely wasn’t him sitting at a piano. It had been a traumatic experience to say the least, and Gary didn’t think he was ever going to look at jelly in the same way. Ever.

‘Jesus, Mark!’ Feeling impatient, he pounded his fist on the cubicle door. ‘I’ve been at water parks that wasted less water than you!’

Gary could hear the familiar sound of a bottle of shampoo hitting the floor.

Mark heaved an exaggerated sigh. ‘Come join me if you’re so fucking desperate!’

Gary blinked. Had Mark just . . .?

Mark slid open the glass door. It was a subtle few inches, but it was enough to wordlessly invite Gary in. Hot steam spread into the restroom.

_Nope. He definitely hadn’t imagined it._

Gary hesitated. He really wanted a shower, and he _had_ seen Mark naked before. Today, in fact. More or less. He had consciously stared at the ceiling when the director of the video asked them to get their kits off and lie on the floor naked while a girl rubbed them up and down with a mop; if Take That were going to last long, he didn’t want to be reminded of his colleague’s private bits every time they shot another music video.

(How _was_ he going to show the video to his parents?)

But dear God, _he_ was so pale and flabby, and Mark was so — not that he’d been looking, of course. Nope. Ceiling, all the way. It was just a well-known fact, wasn’t it? No wonder Mark was getting the most fan mail out of all of them; Mark Owen was quite simply a very, very attractive man, and Gary was . . . Gary. Girls didn’t even look at him when he was on stage. It was always Mark and Jason who were lapping up all the attention. Gary was just sort of . . . _there_. Dancing. (Or trying to, anyway.)

‘You comin’, or what?’ Mark sounded way too casual about this, like he was asking Gary to go to the shops with him. He probably had showers with other people all the time. With girls. Gary had never even held hands with one. Well, he had, back in third grade, but that didn’t count, did it? The poor girl had only started crying, anyway . . .

Mark. ‘Gary? You OK? I can smell you from up _here_.’

Gary started. He _was_ beginning to stink. ‘Yeah, yeah . . .’ He was just going to hop in and out again. No problem. He could deal with that.

Like going to the shops.

He pushed open the door further and stepped in. The cubicle was much smaller than it had looked on the outside. He caught a brief glimpse of Mark’s body, clean and soaked and so damn tanned, his hair short and messy, and a very flustered Gary immediately jerked his body to the tiled wall. It looked like it hadn’t been cleaned for ages.

Water was running down the curve of his arse – which Gary suddenly remembered he was very self-conscious about –, but the rest of his body remained dry. He didn’t dare move.

‘You’re not gonna get clean if ya jus’ stand there like that,’ Mark pointed out, and he gently pulled Gary towards the trajectory of the spray of water by his elbow.

Gary winced; hot water poured all over his body. It wet his hair and his lips and ran all the way down his stomach in continuous warm streams. He lifted his head and ran his fingers through his blonde hair. Water ran into his open mouth, and he swallowed. The dirt was washed away from his body, and for the first time that day Gary felt truly clean; cleaner than he ever had before, and for a second or more he forgot that Mark was there with him.

Then he opened his eyes again, and he remembered.

In one moment of unguardedness, curiosity took the better of him. He turned around and looked down, seeing Mark’s cock. It was big and long, and _shit_ , so much bigger than his. Hairless, too.

Gary wanted to die of shame.

His cheeks burning bright red, a now increasingly shaky Gary turned away from Mark again and decided to focus instead on getting himself clean.  

He mustn’t look at him. He mustn’t.

Mark wasn’t there, naked.

Mark wasn’t there, naked, elevating Gary’s heart rate into worrying numbers.

‘You’re very shy for someone who’s just rolled around in jelly naked,’ said Mark matter-of-factly. He was standing so close to him that Gary could smell the shampoo he was washing his hair with. It smelled expensive. Of musk and roses.

Of sex.

Mark smelled sexy.

Gary said nothing while he scrubbed his arms with his hands to get the jelly off. How Mark could just stand there so confidently was beyond him. Then again, if _he_ had a cock like that he’d probably have a lot of self-esteem too.

_Shit, no, why was he still thinking about that?_

Gary could hear Mark empty the contents of a small bottle of shower gel onto his hands.

_Please leave._

_— Please don’t._

‘Do you need help getting yourself clean, or . . .?’ Mark said nonchalantly, like it was the most normal question in the world. Like they weren’t two blokes sharing a shower.

Is this how Mark ended up getting the most phone numbers from girls at the gigs they did in nightclubs? Did Mark just walk up to them and say, “Would you like a shower with me?” and do his thing? Had Gary been approaching the few attractive women that entered his life every so often all wrong? Had he simply been lacking Mark’s undeniable confidence in order to pull someone?

Gary still wasn’t looking at him.

It’s not that he didn’t _want_ to look at Mark, it’s just that he was too scared of admitting that he **did**.

_Jesus,_ that was a nice cock.

He focussed on a crack in the wall to his left instead, wondering when someone last cleaned this place. He wondered how much Nige had paid to rent this studio. Probably not a lot; it was worlds removed from the film studios Gary had dreamed about as a kid.

The shower was becoming too hot too soon.

Mark touched his arm gently, and Gary looked at him again. At _it._ ‘ _Gary_?’

‘Er, n-no, thank you,’ Gary stammered, noticing with a mix of embarrassment and strange pride that Mark was sporting a semi. He covered his own cock with his hands. ‘I-I’m fine, thank you.’

Yet Gary’s mind was betraying him; it was flooding his mind’s eye with one inappropriate image after another in time with the hot stream of the shower — images that he did not even think his brain was capable of dreaming up. Images that were sinful and arousing and so, _so_ tempting. He shook his head quickly and minutely as though wanting to motion the thoughts away.

_Get your act together, Gary!_

Mark looked up at him with his pretty blue eyes, and the bad thoughts returned. ‘Are you sure? You’ll be outta here quicker, you know.’

Gary wanted to decline Mark’s offer, but it came out of his mouth as ‘OK, yeah, why not.’

Mark smirked. He took his bottle of fragrant shower gel and pushed the little button on top. White, aromatic soap was squeezed out of the bottle onto Gary’s chest, trickling coldly and slowly down his abdomen. Gary rendered too speechless to say anything about it, Mark started rubbing Gary’s body with a pair of skilful hands, the white substance becoming a thin layer of bubbles.

Gary’s heart was beating so fast that he felt he might die.

He had never had anyone touch him like that. Ever.

Mark’s nails grazed one of Gary’s nipples, and Gary inhaled sharply.

‘So sensitive,’ Mark said, more to himself than to Gary. He was grinning mischievously — the way he always looked at Robbie when he was planning to play a prank on someone. Usually, the two of them ended up playing a prank on Gary. Or Nige. But mostly Gary. ‘I wonder . . .?’

Mark’s soap-covered hands moved slowly down Gary’s chest — and down — and down — past his belly button — all the while applying the perfect, hair-raising pressure on his skin — and stopped right before his pubes.

Gary looked down to see Mark’s hands – so _small_ – inches removed from his now very hard cock.

He was in the shower with one of his colleagues, and he was having an erection. Typical.

Mark looked him in the eyes, and Gary could swear he could feel his heart move into his stomach. There was a look in his pretty blue eyes that Gary hadn’t seen before — not in anyone’s eyes, really. It was a blend of want and curiosity and amusement, and God knows it should have made bloody alarm bells sound in Gary’s head, but it didn’t; all that look did to Gary, was give him unfamiliar feelings in his stomach.

_Nice_ feelings.

Feelings that Gary felt like he should act upon.

It was something that he hadn’t even felt for a _girl_.

Gary wrote songs about love and girls and relationships all the time. He had never really been in one (again, third grade “relationships” don’t count), so his writing was always him looking at love from the outside. Looking at it from a point where he quite literally romanticized every aspect of romance. He was good at it, and people always believed him when he told them that this and that song was about a girl he’d met at a local radio station or in the club circuit.

He had never even _considered_ writing about sex.

Gary felt his cock twitch when Mark licked his lips deliberately.

_No._

_This was ridiculous._

_He should put an end to this._

_He should—_

‘You’ve missed a spot, _here_ ,’ said Mark huskily, and suddenly his hands were on Gary’s cock.

Covering it in soap.

Touching him.

And Gary wasn’t going to make it stop.

A moan that Gary didn’t know he was capable of producing escaped his mouth as Mark wrapped his hand around his cock and squeezed.

_This was mental._

And _fuck_ — so good. So good.

It was so much better than touching himself in bed after dark.

Mark put his finger to his lips, telling Gary to stay quiet. As if Gary could stay quiet with Mark’s hands on him like that!

His colleague’s eyes – could Gary still call him his colleague in this position? – were shining with pleasure. He started moving his hand up and down Gary’s shaft slowly, applying tantalizing pressure in all the right places. Sensitive places Gary didn’t even know were there. Twisting his wrist _just right at_ the tip. Fastening his pace, only to slow down whenever Gary moaned a little too loudly.

His fist felt so _tight_.

‘Christ, you’re good at this,’ said Gary. It came out as a whimper.

‘Well, I _have_ done it before,’ Mark hinted. He increased the pressure _just right_ , and Gary placed his hand on the wall to his left to steady himself. Just looking at Mark jerking him off made him see stars.

‘W-what do you mean?’ Gary gasped. The shower sputtered, and the temperature changed from hot to cold to hot again.

Gary wondered if they’d be charged for using the shower. It would cut a considerable chunk from his pay packet.  

Mark bit his lip. His hands were sliding down towards Gary’s testicles.

A strong waft of soap hit Gary suddenly, dizzying him. He no longer felt the spray of water on his skin, or the hard, cracked floor beneath his feet; all he could feel was Mark’s hands all over him, scratching his testicles with his nails while he moved his fingers back up.

Mark started pumping faster. His other hand – Gary just had to have a look, he had to – was busy working his own cock.

‘Still good?’ Mark inquired. He sounded turned on. Horny. Gary had never had that effect on anyone.

Gary nodded. Water ran down Mark’s mouth. He licked his lips slowly, and Gary couldn’t control himself anymore.

_He just had to do it!_

He kissed Mark then. Firmly. Messily. (Gary _had_ kissed someone before, thanks for asking.)

Mark returned the kiss immediately, opening his lips to allow Gary to slip his tongue inside. Gary’s curious hands wandered to the back of Mark’s head, pulling him closer. Deepening the open-mouthed kiss.

They were now so close that their chests were touching. Gary could feel Mark’s cock against his own, so large and hard — Mark was jerking them off both now with one hand, which was probably the best thing Gary had ever felt —

an orgasm was building in the pit of Gary’s stomach —

taking a hold of his trembling body —

he was going to come all over Mark’s fist —

and then Mark stopped.

Mark turned off the shower as quickly as he had turned Gary on.

‘There ya go,’ Mark huffed as though nothing had happened. He glanced at Gary’s still-hard cock. Hungrily. Like he owned it. Then an innocent smile played on his lips, and all the mischief and arousal in his features disappeared within the blink of an eye. The kind-hearted Mark that Gary knew from their rehearsals and chats was back. ‘All clean now. Will I be seeing you at the hotel for a game of pool later, Mr. Barlow?’ he asked casually.

_Mr. Barlow._

_Fucking hell._

By the time Gary had thought of an articulate thing to say, Mark had already stepped out of the shower, dried his hair, and wrapped a towel around his waist. His erection was still visible through the fabric, and Gary felt the strange urge to tear the thing off Mark’s body and — and do _something_. What, he did not know.

_Christ, Mark had a great body._

‘Er, dunno,’ said Gary, trying his best to sound as casual as Mark looked. Mark probably did this sort of thing all the time. It was just a shower. Nothing more. Just two colleagues . . . bonding. He cleared his throat. ‘Ok, yeah.’

‘Cool,’ said Mark, meaning it. He flashed his million-watt smile at Gary, and disappeared, leaving a very confused Gary behind.

When Gary got back at the hotel later that evening – they were sleeping at a one-star hotel in Greater Manchester that night; it was more convenient than heading back home – Gary decided that Mark had simply done him a favour that day. He had probably noticed how much of a loser he was, what with him never really getting any attention from girls at the gigs they did. This was just Mark’s way of being kind to him.

So then why was Gary wishing that Mark would continue being nice to him like that? Why could he still feel the ghost of Mark’s touch even hours after he’d left the studio and driven to the hotel on his own?

Why had he never felt like that about a girl?

The truth is, it was the first time someone had touched him like that — and a boy, as well! In all of his years of fancying and pining after unattainable girls, he never really assumed that boys thought about him like that. Boys fancied boys with good hair and muscles and beards. Gary had an awful blond haircut, no muscles to speak of, and a clean-shaved face because it “best suited he image of the band”. He had seen Nige look at him in a certain way, but Nige was . . . Nige. He probably looked at everyone like that.

But Mark? Gary had no idea what to think of him anymore. He’d always imagined that Mark was super popular with girls, and probably had been way before they started gaining a bit of traction by performing all over the country. He’d probably already had sex loads.

With . . .

The fact that Mark was possibly gay (could you like boys and girls equally?) would probably have bothered Gary before, but it didn’t now. Not that Gary was gay himself, of course; he had always fancied girls – even if they didn’t always like him back – and he always felt secretly thrilled when a lot of girls showed up to see them at their gigs. It’s just that the idea of being with a boy actually seemed appealing now, in a way. Enjoyable. Fuck, he _had_ enjoyed it!

Who’d have thought that being in a band would broaden his horizons this much?

Even at ten, Gary still hadn’t quite stopped thinking about what had happened. Part of him wondered what would have happened if Mark had stayed a little bit longer. Would he have had an orgasm? (Gary _was_ familiar with orgasms, thanks again.) Would Mark have come too? Would they have gone even further? (Gary _wasn’t_ familiar with that.)

_Mark probably looked amazing when he came._

Then Nige came round and asked Gary to tell Mark and Robbie that they were expected to wake up at six tomorrow, and Gary’s heart leapt; he hadn’t seen Mark since their shower, and was hoping to postpone their next meeting until the morning. What if Gary was going to act all awkward around Mark? What if Gary had looked at him in the wrong way in the shower? What if Mark had told Robbie? What if it really _had_ just been Mark doing him a favour, and nothing more?

Still, Nige insisted, and at a quarter past eleven Gary was walking down the corridors of their shabby hotel in search of Mark and Robbie. It took him ages to find the correct room. The hotel wasn’t large at all; it’s just that almost every single corridor was unlit. As in, pitch black. It’s as though the hotel had suffered a severe power outage days or weeks or months ago, and no one had bothered to put the lights back on.

After ten minutes of hopelessly wandering around, Gary was starting to hope that Mark wouldn’t be there at all and that he’d find Robbie instead. That Mark was in the billiard room with Jay and Howard.

The billiard room.

A game of pool.

_Fuck_.

He’d forgotten all about their meeting. _Was_ it really a meeting? Did vaguely saying that you might meet up with somewhere count as an appointment?

Gary really hoped it didn’t; he’d hate to disappoint Mark after what they’d gone through.

_God, he was making it sound like they were dating._

Room 203. Mark and Robbie’s room. The numbers had been written on the door with a black marker. A light bulb was flickering in the corner of his eye. He could hear something shuffle on the floor – _please don’t be a rat please don’t be a rat_ – and Gary wondered how many copies of _Do What U Like_ they’d have to shift in order to afford a three-star hotel rather than the shithole they were in right now.

He knocked on the door and waited. The door swung open, revealing —

Mark.

Wearing tight, black trousers and a red hoodie that was too big for him. His hair looked ruffled. Bed hair.

It felt like Gary hadn’t seen Mark so covered up for a long time.

Mark leaned against the door post. Again, too casually, like they had not snogged and touched and seen each other naked in the shower at all that day. Did this man not feel uncomfortable about anything?

‘I didn’t see ya in the billiard room earlier,’ Mark said. He had chewing gum in his mouth.

Gary’s eyes flickered to Mark’s crotch. ‘Er, no. Sorry. I forget.’ He looked behind Mark’s small frame as an attempt to stare at anything but Mark’s trousers. The room looked empty, and Gary felt strangely relieved. The room was similar to Gary’s; small and square, with yellow wallpaper peeling off the walls. There were clothes all over the floor. Mark’s. ‘Where’s Robert?’

‘Currently drinking shots from the pool table.’ Mark yawned and rubbed his eyes. He stretched his arms. His hoodie shifted as he did so, revealing naked flesh. Flesh that Gary had touched. Flesh that Gary would love to touch again; Mark had felt _so_ soft.

Gary had momentarily forgotten what he was there for. He scratched the back of his head awkwardly. ‘Erm, I, er — we — um. Nige said to tell you and Robert that we’re supposed to be up at six.’ Mark hadn’t bothered to pull his hoodie back down. ‘We’re doing more promo tomorrow, I think?’ He didn’t know what else to add, so he just stared at his feet.

‘Ok, cool.’ Mark nodded.

Gary had made plans to turn around and speed walk to his room, but something made him linger. It felt strange to talk to Mark for the first time since their joint shower and _not_ say something about it. How were they ever going to continue working together if they didn’t?

‘Thanks, by the way. For today,’ Gary said. ‘I really enjoyed your prick. _It_. The h-handjob, I mean. Er.’ His face turned the colour of a tomato, and Gary shifted further back into the shadows of the corridor so Mark wouldn’t see.

Still chewing his gum, Mark wisely said nothing, and Gary’s brain decided it was the perfect moment to embarrass himself further.

‘Um, Mark?’

‘Yes, Mr. Barlow?’ Again with the “Mr. Barlow”. Why did that turn him on so much? He shouldn’t even be thinking about his colleagues like that!

‘Are you . . . gay?’ Gary asked him shyly, immediately hoping that it wasn’t some sort of inappropriate question. His nails were biting the palms of his hand. The light in the corridor was still flickering on and off.

Mark shrugged. He didn’t seem put off by the question. ‘Some days I am, some days I’m not.’ He scratched his ear in careful thought. He looked like he hadn’t really considered the question before. ‘Depends who’s asking, I suppose.’

Gary had no idea what to make of that answer. _Some days I am, some days I’m not._ It felt like his heart and his lungs and his kidneys were grinding themselves together, making Gary feel as though he was about to implode. His legs would surely give in at any moment, rendering him a useless puddle on the floor.

‘So, um, what about . . . today?’ Gary asked Mark curiously. He put his hands inside the pockets of his trousers so that Mark wouldn’t see they were shaking.

Mark frowned for what was probably the first time in his life. ‘I don’t know what you mean.’

‘I – I mean, have you ever done it . . . with a guy?’ Gary stammered.

_Why the **fuck** did he ask him that?_

Mark stopped chewing his gum and bit his lip. He was still leaning against the door post. His stature was calm and collected, but his features were all wrong. Unlike the cheerful, happy young lad that their fans were starting to know him as. He had the same look in his eyes that Mark had given Gary before he started jerking him off, full of lust and desire.

Gary recognized it because he had seen nothing else whenever he closed his eyes tonight, however briefly.

‘ _Yes_ ,’ Mark answered finally, and Gary released the breath he didn’t realize he was holding.

‘What’s it like?’ Gary mumbled.

Mark crossed his arms and regarded Gary carefully, like he was weighing the meaning of Gary’s words in his mind. Weighing _him_. Gary braced himself for Mark to tell him to fuck off. He braced himself for Mark to shower him with a series of delicious adjectives that best described the act of lovemaking — but nothing could have prepared him for what Mark said next.

‘Come on in and I’ll show you,’ Mark dared. Gary decided he needed another word for the way that Mark was able to talk about sex so casually. ‘If you wanna,’ he added seconds later.

Gary didn’t even have to think it through. ‘I – Yes. I’d like to,’ he said.

‘Good.’ Mark pushed the door open further. He nonchalantly started towards the window and closed the blindfolds. He dimmed the lights. He took off his hoodie and effortlessly threw it over a chair, revealing the skin that Gary hadn’t stopped thinking about. The gesture messed up his hair even further, and he ran his fingers through it.

_This . . . was actually happening?_

_He was going to have sex?_

_With a guy?_

_In a hotel room?_

_What?_

Petrified, Gary was still standing in the doorway, watching as Mark took off his socks.

‘Are you into being watched?’ came Mark’s voice. His trademark smile had returned on his face. The chewing gum was gone. Swallowed, presumably; Gary didn’t see a trash can.

Gary wasn’t entirely sure what he meant by that. ‘What?’

Mark nodded at the door.

‘Oh. Right, soz.’ Gary stumbled into the room and closed the door behind him. He locked it with shaking hands just in case Robbie came knocking. He had no idea what to do next, so he decided to lean against a cupboard as coolly as he could. He nearly knocked over a lamp as he did so. By the time he had put the lamp back into its original position, Mark had already started towards him, half naked.

Gary shrunk against the door. Instant panic was rising up his chest.

Why did he have to be so fucking inexperienced?

He couldn’t do this!

‘Hey, hey,’ Mark shushed, spotting Gary’s discomfort immediately. He squeezed Gary’s hand reassuringly and didn’t let go until Gary’s breathing had calmed down considerably. When it finally did, Mark rubbed his thumb over the back of Gary’s hand and spoke to him softly, like they were sharing a secret. ‘Everything’s going to be fine, okay? You’re going to be fine. I’m going to kiss you now, awright?’

Gary nodded; he could handle kissing.

Mark kissed Gary’s forehead then, sending shivers down Gary’s arms. He kissed Gary’s neck next, gently sucking the skin above Gary’s shirt. He pressed his lips against Gary’s softly, and they kissed and kissed until Gary moaned a little too loudly.

‘Shh. Thin walls,’ Mark pointed out quietly. ‘It would really help if you took your clothes off, by the way,’ he whispered into Gary’s ear. The skin under Gary’s earlobe tingled where Mark’s lips had touched him.

It felt almost as good as Mark’s hands on him in the shower.

Gary shook his head. ‘ _You_ do it, I’m too much of a nervous wreck to do anything.’

Mark started unbuttoning Gary’s shirt. ‘Virgin? I’m not judging.’

Gary nodded, and Mark never mentioned it again.

Everything was going to be fine. 

Mark, it turned out, was very good with buttons; in no-time, Gary’s shirt slid off his shoulders and landed in a mess on the floor. Like Mark, he was now half-naked, but unlike when he had the steam and water to mask his insecurities in the shower, Gary suddenly felt very plain next to Mark. Pale. Tall. With fat in all the wrong places. He wasn’t even sure whether he had washed his hair or not. He probably hadn’t.

He’d been so stupid for thinking that Mark could fancy him.

Mark’s fingers ran down Gary’s chest slowly while he continued kissing his neck and shoulder blades, and Gary was hit by yet more anxiety.

He didn’t want Mark to see him like this!

‘I – I’m sorry,’ Gary stammered, and he pushed Mark away gently. He stared at the ceiling, which was covered with cobwebs. ‘Y-You don’t have to do this, mate. I – I know I look awful.’

Mark’s fingers stopped right before Gary’s belt. He frowned for the second time that night, like he hadn’t quite heard Gary correctly. ‘You don’t like your body?’

Gary shook his head. Of course he didn’t; look at him!

‘Well.’ Mark huffed. He seemed to be thinking something over in his mind, like Gary’s confession about disliking his body had personally offended him. Colour flushed into his mate’s cheeks, and Gary thought he could see Mark blush for the first time that night. For the first time ever. ‘I _do_ , so stop moanin’. You want this?’ Mark vaguely gestured at Gary’s crotch.

Before Gary had so much moved his head into a silent nod, Mark had already gone down on his knees – _on his knees! –_ in front of him. Mark worked his magic and got rid of Gary’s belt in one fluid motion. Like he’d done it a million times.

Gary shivered in anticipation: he could guess what was going to happen next, but he didn’t think it would ever happen to him. Not in a hotel. With a boy.

Not with Mark.

And yet he couldn’t imagine a better person to lose his virginity to.

Mark unzipped Gary’s trousers _with his God damn teeth, the show-off —_ he pulled down Gary’s trousers slower than Gary’s heart could handle —

And then Mark pulled his cock free. 

Mark purred. ‘Beautiful.’

_Fuck_.

Gary had heard about blowjobs from experienced mates (Howard and Robbie, in particular, loved talking about their experiences), and he’d fantasised about them, obviously, but nothing could ever have prepared him for what Mark could do with his mouth.

Mark was _good_.

“Better than seeing your first single pressed onto vinyl” good.

First, Mark kissed the tip of Gary’s cock softly – once; then twice, not as soft – but good enough for Gary to press his hips towards Mark’s eager lips, wordlessly begging for more.

He needed more.

Mark grinned. Smugly, like he knew this was going to happen. Like he had thought about it long before he invited Gary in. ‘So desperate already,’ he whispered, and he wrapped his lips around the tip of Gary’s cock without ever losing eye-contact.

That look – that desperate, _submissive_ look – in Mark’s eyes, and the feeling of his cock slipping further and further into Mark’s wet, tight mouth were enough to make Gary’s eyes roll into the back of his head.

‘Oh my _God_ ,‘ Gary groaned. Mark had swallowed him so deeply that his nose hit Gary’s pubes.

_This man was unbelievable!_

Gary had never felt pleasure like it. Nothing he’d ever experienced even came _close_ to how good it felt to have Mark’s lips bob up and down his shaft in a perfect rhythm, his cock hitting the back of Mark’s throat over and over.

‘You taste so fucking good, Gary,’ Mark purred. He rubbed Gary’s cock along his chin, and Gary held on to the doorknob for dear life.

Mark’s lips and chin were covered in saliva and pre-cum.

_Shit, that looked sexy_.

Mark kissed the tip of Gary’s cock again. Swirled his tongue around it while he played with Gary’s balls. Mark’s other hand, Gary saw, had slipped into his own trousers, pleasuring himself, and Gary felt more powerful than he had ever done. There was something _so_ good about seeing someone kneeling at his feet like that, and already Gary was starting to feel like he was about to come.

But then Mark got up from the floor.

What were they going to do now? He was enjoying that!

‘Let’s get you to the bed, c’mon,’ Mark said before he wiped his chin with the back of his hand and kissed Gary again. He still smelled of the soap that he had rubbed Gary with that afternoon. Mark’s tongue touched his, and Gary thought he could taste himself.

Eventually, Gary obeyed. He stepped out of his trousers that were lying in a heap on the floor and walked to the bed. All of a sudden, walking wasn’t as easy as the confident Mark had made it seem; Gary’s legs were wobbly, and it was taking him an awful lot of effort to stay upright. If Mark was having his effect on him _now_ , Gary dreaded to think what would happen next.

What _would_ happen next?

Gary looked at the bed uncertainly. It looked like it had already been slept in.

Tensely, Gary faced Mark. He was busy taking his trousers off.

How did Mark make everything look so simple?

‘Um,’ squeaked Gary. He gestured at the bed. ‘Where do you want me to . . .?’

‘Just sit down for a sec while I try to take me pants off.’

Gary did so. It was only making him more nervous, like he was waiting to be called into the headmaster’s office.

_No, hang on, that’s a shit analogy._

_It was like . . . hitchhiking, and hoping that you’ll end up in the right destination._

Feeling rather exposed, Gary covered his cock with a pillow that he found lying on the floor and watched Mark step out of his trousers. It was as though every little thing that he knew about Mark was being crossed out and rewritten in big, black writing. Like a nonwashable stain of permanent marker on his shirt after a signing session. Like the room numbers on the door.

‘Marko?’

Mark stopped what he was doing. Apart from his tiny Mickey Mouse boxers he was now completely naked. Gary decided there and then that he liked Mark’s belly best. It was flat and soft and tanned, and something about it just made Gary want to kiss it. ‘Yeah, Gary?’

‘C-Can I ask you something?’ Mark nodded. He didn’t seem to mind the interruption. ‘When did you first . . . you know?’

Mark hopped on the cupboard Gary that had nearly thrown a lamp off previously. ‘You mean in general, or with a boy?’ Gary raised his eyebrows as though saying “I’m naked on your bed; what do you think?”

Mark rubbed his ear. He seemed to do that a lot when he was lost in thought. ‘I, um. _God,_ there’s not much to say, to be honest with ya. I was sixteen. I think. I was — I fancied this boy at the bank, you know, this colleague of mine, and — and we started seeing each other, and one day after work he took me up to his house and . . . and that’s when it happened. Yeah.’ He smiled. It must have been a good memory.

Gary’s heart was beating too fast. ‘Good?’

‘Very.’

‘Better than with a girl, or . . .?’

Mark shrugged. He ran his fingers over the top of the cupboard absentmindedly. ‘Just different, I guess.’

‘Different how?’

Mark dangled his legs back and forth. His feet didn’t quite reach the floor. ‘You ask a lot of questions, don’t ya?’

Gary blushed.

Mark touched his ear again. More thinking. ‘It’s . . . gentler, with a girl. Softer. Slower. You get more time to explore their bodies, usually. With boys, it’s usually a competition. Not “Who has the biggest cock”, that sort of thing—’ Gary cleared his throat. ‘— But . . . who’s the best lover? Who can make the other come the loudest? It’s just a whole different ball game.’

Gary snorted at Mark’s choice of words. ‘Are you still with him? The boy who — the boy from the bank?’

Mark scrunched his nose. ‘Nah, I fell in love with someone else.’ His eyes shifted to where Gary was sitting.

Gary hadn’t heard Mark mention a new flame in his life recently — female or . . . otherwise. Normally Mark was the first to tell everyone else what was going on in his life. Only two weeks ago Mark had told everyone who would listen that he was planning to buy a pet iguana if Do What U Like was a commercial success, and yesterday he was going on about the fact that a girl asked him for his autograph back in Oldham.

‘What happened?’ Gary asked him earnestly.

Mark got off from the cupboard then. ‘Enough talkin’’. He pulled down his boxers and folded them neatly on the table. He was already hard. ‘Just lie down on the bed. On your belly,’ he added when Gary lay on his back nervously.

Gary did as he was told, and he turned around so that he was lying face-down on the bed. It didn’t seem very romantic.

Mark handed him his pillow. ‘Here, put your head on that.’

Gary did so. The pillow was soft and smelled of Mark and cigarettes. _Cigarettes_. Mark didn’t look like he smoked, and even if he did Nige would definitely not have allowed it. He was always going on about them having to get enough sleep (they never did), and avoiding things like drugs and cigarettes so they wouldn’t sound like groggy little shits at their performances at school assemblies in the morning.

His band picking up smoking in secrecy was the least of Nige’s worries now, Gary thought.

Still, something about the smell of Mark’s pillow was strangely comforting, and for a moment Gary forgot that he was lying on Mark’s bed at all, naked and waiting for God knows what.

The back of the bed where Gary’s feet were creaked.

_He was still wearing his socks._

Gary flinched when Mark curved over his naked body and kissed the back of his neck. He could feel Mark’s cock against his back, hard and familiar. Too familiar already.

_God, Mark felt so warm. Like someone had draped a blanket all over Gary’s body._

‘You OK?’ Mark kissed his neck again. Lower. Gary didn’t know what to say other than _Jesus Christ, Mark, yes, I’m OK, please stop asking,_ so he just nodded. Mark kissed him again. His shoulder blades. Lower still. His cock flopped against the curve of Gary’s arse. Mark kissed him all the way down from the back of his neck to his arse, where his lips lingered a little longer.

‘You ready?’ Mark asked Gary huskily. Gary didn’t know what he had to be ready for, so he just said yes. He was still thinking about who Mark fancied.

Mark planted his hands firmly on Gary’s arse cheeks and spread them wide. Gary could feel something wet – _saliva? -_  creep slowly towards his arsehole. More wetness. Then something thin was pushed into him, and Gary practically jumped out of his skin.

‘ _Jesus_ , what’re you doing?’ Gary exclaimed. He tried to look behind him, but Mark swiftly placed one of his hands on the back of Gary’s head, pushing his face back into the pillow so he wouldn’t see. _Kinky bastard._

‘I’m – I’m _trying_ to _finger_ you.’ Mark sounded like he was trying hard not to sound exasperated. Gary didn’t blame him; Mark was probably used to sleeping with more experienced . . . individuals. ‘Stop wiggling like that. _God_.’

One of Mark’s fingers accidentally tickled Gary’s ear, sending an electrifying tingle down Gary’s body.

He wasn’t going to survive this. He just wasn’t. He’d have to be towed out of the hotel room by a big yellow crane after Mark was finished with him!

‘I’m going to put me finger inside of you, OK? It’ll feel nice, promise.’ Mark explained slowly. There was an edge to his voice that Gary didn’t quite recognize. How Mark hadn’t given up on him yet, Gary did not know. ‘ _OK_ , Gary?’ Mark reiterated, sounding a little less patient. ‘Talk to me, mate, I don’t wanna do something you’re not comfortable with.’

‘OK, yeah. Um, go on, then,’ Gary said lamely, his voice muffled by the pillow.

Mark needn’t say anything else. He pressed his index finger slowly into Gary’s arse again, and this time Gary responded with a whimper. The good kind. Mark took this as a sign to add another finger, which hurt more, but not unpleasantly so. He started moving his fingers in and out, in and out slowly, and Gary couldn’t believe how good it felt to have something – _someone –_ enter him like that. It was even better than that blowjob earlier!

‘ _Ohh_ , that’s good, that, Mark.’ Gary exhaled deeply as Mark twisted his fingers inside of him.

‘Told ya.’ Mark spat on his arsehole again. It was messier this time; saliva ran deliciously down Gary’s inner thighs. A third finger was added, and pleasure mixed with pain took complete control of Gary. It’s like a switch was being flicked inside of him, and all the sexual frustration he’d felt all day – and perhaps all his life – came out all at once.  
  
‘Oh shit, Mark, that’s so nice. So nice.’ He started grinding his arse against Mark’s wet fingers, his own hands grasping the white sheets below him as Mark opened him up further. His cock was dripping with pre-cum. ‘Go deeper. . .’

_Did he really just say that? Hot damn._

‘Huh. I think we’ve warmed you up enough now,’ Mark said in satisfaction, removing his fingers from Gary’s arse painstakingly slowly. He pushed Gary’s arse down so he was lying flat on his belly again, spanked him (!!!), and got off from the bed. Mark grabbed something from a bag on the floor, and before Gary knew it Mark’s hands were on his arse again.

Mark slapped his arse once more, and Gary groaned into his pillow. He couldn’t believe that he was seeing – experiencing – this dominant side of Mark. That Mark, a _boy_ , was capable of turning him on like that turned his entire world upside down, shaking out and disposing of parts of Gary that were never really there. Perhaps the reason Gary had never been with a girl was because he would never have enjoyed being with one in the first place.

Then again, perhaps Mark was just a wonderful exception.

Gary begged Mark to slap him again in a voice that did not belong to him, and Mark did so. Hard.

‘You didn’t strike me as the type of guy who’s into spanking, you know,’ Mark panted. He rubbed the small of Gary’s back, and Gary wished he could see what they both looked like right now, Gary lying flat on his stomach, Mark —

Rubbing his wet cock over the curve of Gary’s arse.

‘Oh. Wow.’ Gary let out a deep, throaty moan.

‘You like that, don’t ya?’ Mark sounded like he was smiling.

‘Mm. Yeah. Oh God, _yesss_.’ Gary could feel Mark’s cock pressed against his entrance now, all big and hard and thick and wet. The thought of it entering him made Gary’s nerves bubble back to the surface. He wasn’t entirely sure how _that_ could possibly feel good. Perhaps for Mark, but not for him it wouldn’t! ‘Um, Marko?’

‘Yeah?’ Mark rubbed his hands up and down Gary’s thighs.

Gary cleared his throat. He did his best to cover up the fact that he was shaking. ‘W-will it . . . hurt?’

Mark stayed quiet. His fingers were busy drawing circles over Gary’s cheeks. ‘It . . . might?’ He didn’t sound like he was being completely truthful.

‘‘S not really helping, that.’ Gary huffed. Fear of the unknown made him tremble.

‘OK, OK, yeah, it’ll hurt,’ Mark admitted. ‘But not for long. Promise. And I’ve got lube, so . . .’ He draped himself over Gary’s body again, and they kissed passionately until Gary stopped shaking. The angle was a bit awkward, but the kiss was good enough for Gary to quietly nod at Mark when he was asked whether he was ready. He was. Completely and utterly.

Mark flashed a smile at Gary that was so adorable that it nearly made Gary melt into the mattress, and Gary’s brain didn’t even fully register the pain when Mark pushed the tip of his large cock into him. All he felt was desire. Multiplied. Spurred on by Gary’s needy moans, Mark kissed Gary’s neck and pushed in further and further until he was completely filling Gary up. It’s like they were one and the same person, putting their complete faith into each other.  

Gary had completely forgotten his elation upon arriving at the video shoot that morning.

This was better.

Much better.

Mark breathed in the scent of Gary’s hair. ‘Good?’

Gary replied with a groan. Mark started moving his hips then, and Gary buried his face into Mark’s pillow, soaking up the smell of shampoo and cigarettes as Mark pushed his cock back and forth, back and forth slowly. It _was_ painful, yes, but the pain was nothing compared to how good it felt to have Mark filling him whole, his ballsacks slapping against Gary’s naked skin every time he moved. It was the filthiest and best thing Gary had ever been a part of.

‘I love how loud you are.’ Mark sat upright, leaving the skin on Gary’s back uncomfortably cold. Mark continued moving a little bit faster. Mark’s cock slipped out of Gary’s arsehole; Gary moaned in delight when the tip of Mark’s cock pained his entrance upon exit. Mark pushed his cock back in a little harder, and Gary moaned even louder.

‘God, you’re so _tight_ ,’ Mark said under his breath. He was beginning to sound more and more aroused. His movements became harder. Faster, too, and the pain that Gary had felt previously was being overtaken by something else.

Mark sped up even more, his hands rubbing up and down the small of Gary’s back.

Gary’s cock rubbed against the mattress with every thrust, wetting the mattress with pre-cum.

Mark lifted up Gary’s hips with surprisingly strong hands, and his arse was filled up even further.

The tip of Mark’s cock hit a sensitive spot inside of him over and over, and Gary bit the pillow with his teeth.

The rhythm was relentless now. The bed was creaking badly.

And those _sounds_! Mark was properly loud. He whimpered with each movement. Cursed under his breath every time he hit a sensitive spot.

Mark’s nails were digging into his hips.

Gary’s cock was bobbing against his belly. He curled his toes and bit his lip. He was seeing stars.

_He was going to come._

Gary grasped the pillow. ‘ _Fuck_ , Mark, I’m gonna—‘

Before Gary could so much finish his sentence, Mark had already turned him over effortlessly so that he was lying on his back again. He could see Mark fucking him properly for the first time that night, and it was the most glorious thing he had ever seen: Mark’s taut body, covered in sweat. A lot of it. His hair, all messy now, covering his forehead. His mouth, open. Licking his lips. Twisting his – _oh Jesus!_ – twisting his own nipples, his head tilted back in delight while he moved his hips skilfully.

‘Fucking hell, Gary, I _love_ fucking you. So _bad_.’ And then Mark’s other hand, grabbing Gary’s cock and jerking him off in time with his thrusts, faster and faster until Gary let loose of control completely and came in hot spurts onto his chest, momentarily forgetting where and who he was. Three thrusts later Mark came hard, too, filling Gary up with his own load.

Gary would probably have passed out there and then if it wasn’t for Mark kissing him sloppily immediately afterwards.

Gary could feel Mark’s cock soften inside of him. His arsehole felt wet and sticky. Mark kissed his forehead and his ears and his cheeks, and for a moment Gary wanted nothing more than to stay here, as one with Mark.

_Mark_.

_He’d had sex with Mark!_

‘How was that?’ Mark inquired before he planted yet another kiss on Gary’s ear. It didn’t sound like a question; he knew the answer already, the cheeky sod.

More kisses. Mark liked kissing him a lot, apparently!  
  
Gary couldn’t come up with a word that described how transcendent he had felt throughout that entire experience, so he just settled for “Um. Fucking amazing. Yeah.” Mark, thankfully, didn’t seem to mind; he grinned from ear to ear.

‘Glad you liked it, Mr. Barlow.’

Gary’s heart skipped a beat. He should probably make a rule about Mark referring to him as that. He was beginning to see Mark – and, in fact, the whole world – in a whole different way now.

Perhaps Gary was even capable of fancying him.

Gary rubbed his thumb over Mark’s cheek. He was thinking of ways to best tell Mark how he was feeling right now. How to tell him that he was hoping this wasn’t just a one-off.

He really hoped it wasn’t just a one-off.

Gary cleared his throat. Mark was still kissing his neck. ‘Could we, erm, I mean, we don’t have to if you don’t want to —’ Why was kissing so much easier than talking? ‘Um. I wouldn’t mind if — if we did this more often.’

Mark grinned. So much grinning. It’s like Mark had an unlimited supply of smiles and grins. ‘I’ll start stocking up on jelly. I’m kidding, I’m kidding,’ he added when Gary stared at him wide-eyed. ‘C’mere, you . . .’

After they’d cleaned up and done yet more kissing (the kissing was by far Gary’s favourite part), Gary left Mark’s room at a quarter to one. How he managed to get back to his own room in the dark he did not know, but eventually he managed it. He fell asleep in his shirt and trousers the moment his face hit his pillow, and he had very nice dreams of Mark’s lips that night.

Robbie never even came back to his and Mark’s hotel room.

When Gary joined his colleagues for a sparse breakfast in a tiny dining hall in the early morning, everyone was in different stages of waking up. Jason and Howard both had bags under their eyes. Howard was holding on to his cup of shit coffee so tightly that Gary thought the cup might break. Robbie was hungover. Nige, being Nige, looked neither rested nor sleepy.

Mark was still grinning.

_Constantly_.

Every time Mark looked at him Gary could swear he could feel butterflies.

Even when they all sat down to have their breakfast Mark was still grinning.

Even when Nige moaned that they all looked like shit, Mark was still grinning.

‘This is the worst sausage I’ve ever ‘ad!’ Robbie said under his breath a while later, and he pushed the already cold plate of scrambled eggs and sausages away from him. He crossed his arms angrily and eyed Gary’s much better-looking toast with ham and cheese jealously.

‘You’re absolutely right, Rob,’ said Mark in the voice that was reserved for Robbie, poking his own sausage with his fork. ‘It _is_ awful, innit?’ And then he looked at Gary again. ‘What’d you think of me sausage, Mr. Barlow?”

Gary nearly choked on his toast.

Howard was still holding on to his cup of coffee, and Gary decided to change the subject. ‘You’re looking very rested today, How,’ Gary pointed out.

Howard grumbled. ‘Couldn’t sleep. The people upstairs were shaggin’.’

Mark and Gary exchanged another look.

‘Think they was two blokes as well,’ Howard mumbled into his cup of coffee. ‘I’m traumatized for life.’

Mark and Gary wisely said nothing.


End file.
